Things I Miss

When I first started my blog I promised everyone that I would write about my highs and lows. Today, I am going to write about the things that I miss.

Apart from the obvious – talking and walking – I miss hugging my family. A good hug is taken for granted; I miss the heartwarming feeling I get when I squeeze them. You never realize  how precious some things are in life till you can’t have them.

I miss eating popcorn, it used to be my favorite snack of all time, but now it’s a dangerous choking hazard for me. One time Karim tried to make popcorn then crush it in the food processor for me, ha ha, bless him, great idea but the taste was not the same – the crunch under my teeth, bursting the flavor in to my mouth was missing.

I miss reading, It used to be my relaxation technique and my way to gradually fall asleep at night. So Zeid introduced me to audiobooks. Now I listen to books faster than most people can read! Ha ha. I am always on lookout for a good book, so please feel free to recommend a good book any time!

I miss kissing my children, so Faisal makes sure to press his cheeks on my lips to remind me how sweet they taste. Since I cannot purse my lips anymore for a kiss, that is the closest feeling to a kiss these days. I love it when Faisal does that.

I miss exercising, I used to be one of the very first people in our area to practise soul cycling (we used to call it spinning classes back in 2003). It was a very intense workout with great music, and a lot of fun! It’s a great way to release all your negativity, tension and aggression, and replace it with a cheerful mood.

I miss eating a simple hamburger, a small hot dog, or even a juicy shawarma remembering how its juices dripped onto my hands. Some meals are finger licking good, but unfortunately I am unable to enjoy some of them; I cannot hold, bite, or swallow these meaty meals now.

I miss speaking in Arabic, all my speech is done through my Eyegaze computer (Diva), which only speaks in English. There is a lot I want to say in certain occasions, like a certain Arabic saying or phrase, but unfortunately it just has to remain swimming inside my head with no escape; it’s frustrating at times.

I miss driving – I used to love the freedom of getting in my car, music playing full blast, and I would sing along to my favorite songs, like Nancy Ajram or Celine Dion, while driving myself to work.  Speaking of singing, oh how I miss singing to my favorite songs, or dancing –  Marwan and I used to be the first and last ones on the dance floor at parties!

Having said all this, and despite all the things I miss, I remain thankful, and truly grateful to be alive and available to see my children progress and succeed in their life. I hear from them what things taste like, or what things feel  or look like. I see the world through their eyes.


23 thoughts on “Things I Miss

  1. My Dearest Lannoul,,,, All what you mentioned you missed, is nothing to compare with LOVE that you have in your heart for Marwan and Princes, and the LOVE they have for You. Its so Precious, more than food & fun. It gives you security, that many of us lack. To tell you the truth, you have everything we/I lack. God bless You habibti,,,,❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Habibti Lana , although my heart ached when I read this article ,but at the same time I felt how lucky you are for the amount of love you have in your heart for life ,which most of people do not have , you are so beautiful Lana ,your emotions are the wonderful magical expression of life God bless you always ! and don’t tell me you miss driving ,I know exactly how does it feel being with you in the red Renault 5,exploring the 1st ,2nd ,3rd circles in Amman . hahahahaha

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear Lana,
    Your article just touched me so much . I really feel ashamed how much life drags us away whether we are concious about it or not. I sure dont take anything for granted and thank God for all the blessing he gave us, but we sure are doing little for all those we love and admire.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Auntie, I have not had the pleasure to meet you yet (I am a friend of the El Tal’s). You are beyond an inspiration. Allah ye7meeki ou ikhalilek your beautiful family.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve never met you dear, just want to say thank you for your posts of inspiration and strength… And a big thank you for reminding us all to appreciate the little things in life that we take for granted.. (I too love popcorn) 🍿 😘❤️ Lots of virtual hugs, Helen

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There is a great deal of courage in your words Lana. Your perseverance to always be positive and your determination to always be grateful are the reasons behind all your strength and resilience..
    I was enticed by your balanced perspective ever since I started reading your blog that’s why your writing never ceases to inspire me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Another amazing post! Thank you for sharing this, I know it might not be easy for you. Your grace and strength are wonderful ❤
    Read The monk who old his Ferrari by Robin Sharma, I highly recommend it.
    All the best!😊

    Liked by 1 person

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